Kodachi's New Obsession
by RyuuRanger
Summary: Kodachi Kuno is in love. But this time, It's not Ranma. One-shot. Crackfic.


I do not own Ranma ½ nor Twilight. They are not my ideas, especially Twilight.

Kodachi was lying on her bed, dressed in a black negligee and lace panties. She had a sexy smile on her face as she read a book that had hands holding an apple on the cover.

"This story is so romantic…" She sighed heavenly as she imagined herself in Edward's big strong arms. "Oh, Edward-sama!" Kodachi moaned as she stroked her vagina, thinking about him.

"That little harlot Bella does not deserve you," The younger Kuno spat out her name acidly. "I am your destined one." Kodachi put the book on the table and grabbed a dildo.

"I want you inside me, Edward-sama." Kodachi looked at the imaginary Cullen with lust in her eyes. "Your divine, heavenly-made body, your innocent yet charming face." Kodachi's heart raced as she thrust the dildo in and out of her.

"Ohh… Ohhhh…!" Kodachi felt her climax coming as she pulled out the dildo from her womanhood and came. "Ooooh, Edward-sama… I love you…" Kodachi fell onto the pillows and closed her eyes.

The next morning…

Ranma was practicing his katas, while Akane was doing her studies. "Man, you gotta try these katas, Akane; you should stop studying so much." Ranma stood up and walked over to her.

"Shut up, Ranma. Don't bother- What the hell?!" Akane looked up from her notebook to see Kodachi. Her usual ponytail was gone, replaced with straightened shoulder-length hair. She was dressed in a black, long-sleeved sweater and a black skirt. Her face was covered in white and violet lipstick covered her lips.

"Is… Is that Kodachi?!" Ranma's jaw dropped at her appearance. "Y-Yeah!" Akane was shocked as well.

The couple walked over to her, curious by her change of style. "Kodachi?" Ranma was the first one to break the silence.

"Oh, Hello, Ranma-sama, Tendou-san." Kodachi greeted them. "Are you here to meet Edward-sama?" "Ed-who?" Ranma blinked in confusion.

Kodachi sighed and handed him a picture of Edward Cullen. "This man is my destined one." She smiled serenely and sighed. "No offense, Dachi, but I thought I was your destined one?" Ranma asked.

Kodachi let loose a loud peal of laughter before she managed to calm herself down. "Oh, Ranma-sama. You cannot possibly compare yourself to Edward-sama's God-given beauty."

Ranma scratched his head in confusion. Akane stared at Kodachi like she grew a second mouth. "Let me get this straight. You're in love with a fictional character from a bad, cheesy romance novel?"

Kodachi shot a dark look at her. "Edward-sama is _real_. Don't you ever say that again." Akane flinched at that. "Um, ok… We'll be going now. See ya later, Dachi." Ranma and Akane quickly left, leaving the Kunou girl to her own plans.

Kodachi turned around and headed into the bookstore. She arrived to see a large line of Edward fangirls in front.

"Edward is so hot!"

"I know! Jacob doesn't even compare to him!"

"Bella is so not his type! EDWARD X BELLA FOREVER!"

"I want to spend the rest of my life with Edward!"

Kodachi fumed in rage as she clenched her fists. '_Those ignorant hussies! Edward-sama is mine!_' She thought. She drew out her ribbon and launched herself into the crowd of fangirls. "YOU_ VILE_ WHORES! I WILL NOT LET ANY OF YOU TOUCH MY BELOVED EDWARD-SAMA!" She flung the ribbon at the girls, giving them fierce gashes on their bodies.

Then she hurled hoops with spikes at the fleeing fangirls, goring some of them. "DIE!" Kodachi hurled a barrage of black roses at the crowd, paralyzing them. She then proceeded to beat some of them to death. It wasn't long before someone called the police. Kodachi entered the bookstore and saw her beloved Edward Cullen, sitting at a table.

"EDWARD-SAMA!" Kodachi ran at her destined one. Suddenly, policemen tackled her down, pinning her to the floor.

"LET ME GO! EDWARD-SAMA! HELP ME!!!!" Kodachi shrieked wildly, trying to thorw them off of her. Robert Patterson, AKA Edward Cullen, stared at the crazed Kuno girl before the cops dragged her away.

"Who was that?" He asked his agent. The agent shrugged in response as he saw Kodachi scream bloody murder before being thrown into a police car.

Later….

"I can't believe Kodachi went apeshit over a stupid guy from a stupid book." Ranma shook his head as he looked at the black book called Twilight. "This _is_ Kodachi we're talking about," Akane sighed. "Knowing her, she'd find any bad romance novel interesting."

"Yeah. Oh well. MOUKO TAKIBISHA!" Ranma threw the book in the air and fired a ki blast at it, blasting it to pieces.

With that, the duo walked back home, trying to forget this crazy episode that just happened.

The end?


End file.
